The Great Umbridge Bashing Nickname List
by Charm Caster1127
Summary: A list of all the Umbridge bashing nick-names I have read, found, or come up with! Now includes letters and drabbles! PM or review if you have created/found a nick-name that is not on the list! (Rated T for language)
1. The Great Umbridge Bashing Nickname List

**I just couldn't stay away! Now for onto yet another despicable HP character... Dolores Umbridge... However, to keep within FF.N rules, I'm writing drabbles and poems with each piece of the list. Enjoy!**

* * *

Umbridge is a Bitch, a pink fuzzy Bitch.

She is also like a Toad. Not a frog, but a Toad.

Her sweater is horrendous, her detentions even more so.

I mean really, aren't Blood Quills illegal?

Most wanted Harry to beat Voldemort, that is their wish.

Others cheered when Dumbles died, and others went into sulk mode.

Many people cried when Severus Snape let go.

And don't even get me started on that nasty lying beetle.

But something most can all agree on, whether part of the Order or Death Eaters is,

Most of us are still waiting for the the death, of the toad known as Umbridge!

1\. Umbitch

2\. Toadlorus Umbitch

3\. Hem Hembridge

4\. That Ugly Toad

5\. Fuzzy Pink Bitch

6\. Toadbridge

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 **As always, don't forget to review and suggest names for the list!**


	2. The High Inquisitor of DOOM!

She's as sweet as a lime,

and as healthy as poisoned honey.

Some call her Madam Ribbit,

Others say Madam Hem-Hem.

Though one of my favorites I must say,

is Lady Amphibia Bloodfeather.

She's a Glorified Fly Catcher,

and a Secret Half-Breed.

An Under-the-Desk Secretary,

and Fudge's #1 Fangirl.

If you ever need Centaur Bait,

than get That Damn Toad,

The Pink Death will work perfectly,

until each clip clop scares her soul.

She's Cornelius's Right-Hand Toad,

and a bitchy one at that,

but the name we know her best as,

appears when trouble looms,

the most horrid name is defiantly,

The High Inquisitor of DOOM!

 **Dan (Guest)**

5\. Engagement Toad

6\. TDT(That Damn Toad)

7\. Closet Totalitarian

8\. Poisoned Honey

 **cindygrey (Guest)**

9\. Madam Ribbit

10\. Madam Hem-Hem

11\. Glorified Fly Catcher

12\. Secret Half-Breed

13\. Under-the-Desk Secretary

14\. Fudge Fangirl

15\. The Pink Death

16\. Lady Amphibia Bloodfeather

17\. Eva Braun

18\. Centaur Bait

19\. Cornelius's Right-Hand Toad

20\. Bloodline Preservation Gone Wrong

21\. High Inquisitor of DOOM!


	3. Gred and Forge

**I knew I could count on you two! Gred, Forge, once again, I fell out of my chair laughing at your review. I'm going to have to use that one part as a disclaimer one day...**

* * *

 **Gred and Forge**

It has come to our attention...

...That our brilliant...

...Awesome...

...And all-around charming Charm Caster...

...Has problems with authorities.

...Or, more precisely...

...With those who know no fun...

...And at the first sign of trouble...

...To the Pink-Dressed Toad they run.

(Oi, can you imagine old Perce paired up with that sneak Marietta?)

(Ugh... thanks, Forge; I could have happily grown old without THAT mental image!)

Anyway...

...We have decided to offer...

...To the most charming Charm Caster...

...A little bit of help.

The first of all...

...We solemnly swear...

...That we are up to no- OUCH! Oi, Gred, what was THAT for?

The OTHER oath, Forge! The disclaiming one!

Oh! Alright, then. We...

...Solemnly swear...

...On our Marauderly Honor...

...Bestowed on us but unworthy mortals by Holy Padfoot and Holy Moony...

...That the charming Charm Caster...

...Has our full permission...

...To publish and re-post...

...Everything we leave in our reviews...

...Or any other means of Interwebly communications.

So mote it be!

So mote it be!

(You think that it'll pass Percy's scrutiny?)

(I doubt that even Hermione would find a fault there.)

With that said...

...We...

...That is, Gred and I...

...Deeply promise...

...To diss on Her Toadiness...

...In our wicked Marauderly way...

...So that this charming Charm of story...

...Be always here to stay.

We promise we'll be creative...

...And never skiv on work...

...So we'll have a place to lay it heavy...

...On the Lady With Dulcet Croak.

Maybe we should diss on others, too...

...And expose all their folly...

...Like the ickle-widdle Drakie-poo...

...Sucking up to Auntie Dolly.

We'll be 'round, that we promise...

...Down along the road...

...We'll do our best, with little rest...

...To bash the Woman-Toad!

('Woman-Toad', Gred? I'm mighty disappointed.)

(Oi! At least it rhymes!)

(Too true, brother of mine. Too true.)


	4. The Quibbler

**I knew I could count on you, Luna! Between you, Gred and Forge, I'm going to die from all the laughing when I read your reviews. Good luck on your new position, Luna!**

* * *

 **The Quibbler**

Official Statement: The Quibbler, its Chief Editor, the recently employed Junior Reporter, and anybody else we might or might not quote (usually members of secret study groups and innocent bystanders), per abovementioned Junior Reporter's irresistible puppy-eyed plea, hereby grant Charm Caster1127 our full permission to publicise our exclusive articles sent through these curiously strange Muggle means. Hopefully, this declaration will protect Charm Caster1127 from Nargles and any legal harassment caused by publicising our exclusive articles.

Headline: Squeakspurt

Squeakspurt (pincus toadus maleficius) is a rare amphibian creature that is a result of spontaneous crossbreeding between a Wrackspurt and a common toad. Named for its characteristic high-pitched croak, which sounds more like a squeak, it is recognisable by its fluorescent pink skin and its long, flexible, fly-catching tongue. It produces a venomous cloying scent that, thanks to the creature's heritage, induces symptoms of confusion, reduced cognitive abilities, and nausea at short-term exposure that, if prolonged, may result in brain damage, physical sickness, and, in very extreme cases, death. Its primary diet consists of flies, cat food, and political opposition of Minister Fudge, although it enjoys the look of hopelessness and fear in tortured schoolchildren's eyes as a rare delicacy. The reliable sources report that it enjoys the company of Dementors and cats, and has even managed to domesticate an Umgubular Slashkilter as its pet. It is rumoured that the alpha of the species became an Animagus with the form of a female human, which, partial though it may be, has managed to attract several upstanding citizens of the pureblood elite, diligently ploughing through their ranks until it became the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic. Daddy is still puzzled how did it manage to accomplish such impressive feat without attracting the attention of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, although there is still a possibility that this particular specimen is owned by the Department of Mysteries and is involved in a top secret experiment, which is rumoured to be anything from the assessment of the prevalence of so-called 'Wizard Logic' among the witches and wizards employed by the Ministry, to the Department's secret conspiracy for the world domination.

\- Luna Lovegood, reporting for The Quibbler

PS: Hi! Luna here! I've got my daddy to employ me as a Junior Reporter for The Quibbler and give you the official permission to publish some of the most interesting finds I send you this way! Isn't this great? We don't have to part our ways, after all!

PPS: I might occasionally go freelance like I did before. Just to let you know that you have my permission to publish that, too.


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